Monday, September 7, 2009

Sad day :(

Ready or not, here it comes. After 10 1/2 months at home with the best little person on the planet, I'm headed back to work tomorrow. I have been intending to catch up with my blog, to post pictures and comments about all of the fun things we've been doing for the last month or two of the summer ... but now, none of it even seems to matter. Pretty much the only thing in my head and on my heart right now is the overwhelming DREAD that I feel about tomorrow. I know I probably sound overly dramatic here ... but really, I can't remember a day when I've been this sad.

On a positive note ... I will only be working half days, teaching the afternoon kindergarten class with one of the best job-share partners possible, I live about three minutes from my job, and I am LUCKY to have a wonderful nanny coming to our house every afternoon so that Lucy can stay home, nap in her own bed, etc., etc.... so really, I can't complain, I know. But I'm going to anyway ... at least for the rest of the night. Tomorrow (by noon, anyway), I will put on my happy face, and be the best darn kindergarten teacher I can possibly be ... considering I haven't taught for 10 1/2 months and I'd rather be anywhere than in a classroom with everyone else's kids! (for all of my past, present, and/or future parents who read my blog ... really, I DO love your kids! and I DO love my job! ... this is just HARD!)

This is Lucy, riding her stuffed giraffe, which she LOVES!

Lucy is now crawling everywhere, and I do mean EVERYWHERE ... especially all of the places where I'd rather she not crawl... those are her favorite spots. This little kiddo is fast, too!!!

I spent the last 45 minutes in Lucy's room, rocking her to sleep (something I haven't done in a LONG time because she'd pretty much rather I just put her in her bed and let her talk herself to sleep, instead!). I tried to sing, which I usually do while rocking her ... but got too choked up, and ended up just sobbing uncontrollably, instead. In those 45 minutes, I just thought back over the last year ... how excited we were to decorate and set up her nursery, how anxious we were to meet her, how scared I was to actually deliver her (ouch!), how much we prayed that she would be healthy (thank you, God), and how much our lives have been changed forever in the best way possible since she came into this world 10 1/2 months ago. (OK, getting too tough to see through the tears now, so I'm signing off for now ... hopefully, my next post will be a happier, more positive one!)