I'm still getting used to using that word.
And realizing that it applies to ME.
This post is not going to be what I originally intentioned for today.
(Though truth be told, I am having the hardest time even processing the thoughts in my own head right now ... so putting them out into print seems nearly impossible.)
I was planning to tell you about how this all even happened (with NO "help" -- no fertility treatments, no acupuncture, no supplements, no ovulation kits). And how I've been feeling (tired ... sick off and on ... tired ... terrified ... tired ... overwhelmed ... and tired). And other fun stories like that ....
But, the truth of the matter is ... we are not home-free yet.
This pregnancy has, unfortunately, not been without complications.
I've had a lot of spotting .... well, not a lot of spotting .... but a little spotting, rather frequently.
To say it is nerve-wracking is an understatement.
The only reassurance I've been able to hold onto throughout the past five weeks is the fact that I experienced the same thing with Lucy's pregnancy.
My body is just weird. And overreactive. And I highly dislike it.
So you're probably wondering why I would make the big announcement for all the world to see when I don't even know what the outcome will be .... ?
Well, first of all ... I just couldn't wait any longer.
Whether you know me in real-life - or just here on my little blog, you know that I'm pretty much an open book. I tell it like it is.
Not being able to share what is really going on in my life was killing me!
And bottom line -- if anything were to happen, I would want the support.
I would need the support.
So ... here's the latest:
Last night, I got a call from my doctor, letting me know that my hormone levels have plateaued. She is concerned (even though it is common for hcg levels to plateau after 8 weeks - and I am 9 weeks now), and has ordered another ultrasound for first thing this morning.
If you're not busy around 7:00 a.m. (PST), we would greatly appreciate your prayers.
I am terrified enough about being pregnant the way it is .... but throw a few monkey wrenches in the mix, and I've pretty much officially entered "looney bin" status.
Please Lord, let me see that heartbeat, nice and strong this morning ....
Thanks for your prayers! They are appreciated more than you know.