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Friday, April 27, 2012

Pregnant.

I'm still getting used to using that word.
And realizing that it applies to ME.

This post is not going to be what I originally intentioned for today.
(Though truth be told, I am having the hardest time even processing the thoughts in my own head right now ... so putting them out into print seems nearly impossible.)

I was planning to tell you about how this all even happened (with NO "help" -- no fertility treatments, no acupuncture, no supplements, no ovulation kits).  And how I've been feeling (tired ... sick off and on ... tired ... terrified ... tired ... overwhelmed ... and tired).  And other fun stories like that ....

But, the truth of the matter is ... we are not home-free yet.
This pregnancy has, unfortunately, not been without complications.

I've had a lot of spotting .... well, not a lot of spotting .... but a little spotting, rather frequently.
To say it is nerve-wracking is an understatement.
The only reassurance I've been able to hold onto throughout the past five weeks is the fact that I experienced the same thing with Lucy's pregnancy.
My body is just weird.  And overreactive.  And I highly dislike it.

So you're probably wondering why I would make the big announcement for all the world to see when I don't even know what the outcome will be .... ?
Well, first of all ... I just couldn't wait any longer.
Whether you know me in real-life - or just here on my little blog, you know that I'm pretty much an open book.  I tell it like it is.
Not being able to share what is really going on in my life was killing me!
And bottom line -- if anything were to happen, I would want the support.
I would need the support.

So ... here's the latest:
Last night, I got a call from my doctor, letting me know that my hormone levels have plateaued.  She is concerned (even though it is common for hcg levels to plateau after 8 weeks - and I am 9 weeks now), and has ordered another ultrasound for first thing this morning.

If you're not busy around 7:00 a.m. (PST), we would greatly appreciate your prayers.

I am terrified enough about being pregnant the way it is .... but throw a few monkey wrenches in the mix, and I've pretty much officially entered "looney bin" status.

Please Lord, let me see that heartbeat, nice and strong this morning ....

Thanks for your prayers!  They are appreciated more than you know.

25 comments:

  1. Oh Bec, I will be praying all day. I think it is admirable and says a lot about you and who you are to be honest I really look up to you. And I know this is all happening for a reason, one of my favorite quotes is: If you are handed it, you can handle it.
    Hugs,
    Jaime

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  2. I will say a prayer for you. I spotted while pregnant with both of my kids. It's scary but common. Thinking of you today.

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  3. Sending prayers and tons of good thoughts your way!!!

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  4. I just said a prayer for you to see a beautiful strong heartbeat!! I prayed for peace and encouragement!! Can't wait to hear about the appt. Will continue to pray for you throughout the morn!

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  5. Praying for you. Like many of the other women here, I spotted heavily around 9 weeks with my twins. Everything turned out okay.

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  6. You got it. Lots of good thoughts headed your way.

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  7. Oh Bec, I just cried thinking of how you must feel right now!! Just remember God is with you. Hope everything goes well and gets to normal soon. Being preggo drives me crazy, I worry so much even though I know I shouldn't. And those hormones are so crazy I think they make things WAY worse, esp. moods and feelings. Praying for you and hoping to hear good news soon!! Love you and hugs for you!

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  8. Bec, I know we don't know each other, but I've been following your blog for quite some time now. I have to say, I admire your honesty. My husband & I told everyone we were pregnant when we were only 6 weeks along, but it took almost 10 years to get pregnant!! So the way we looked at it was, the more people that knew, the more could pray for us and our child. I will be thinking of you and praying for your precious family today.
    God bless you,
    Missy
    http://thebigadventuresoflilduck.blogspot.com/

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  9. Praying for good news! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God is watching over you and will help you through this.

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  10. I read this at 7:03 and immediately sent a prayer and positive thoughts your way~
    Hugs,
    Jill

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  11. I read this at 10:10 (EST) so I immediately lifted you up! Praying for a super healthy little one and a very healthy and easy pregnancy for you!

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  12. Oh goodness....sending prayers your way!!! I had spotting/bleeding throughout my entire pregnancy with Addie and thankfully everything was fine (apparently just a very sensitive cervix) but I completely remember how nerve-wracking it was. I'm praying everything went well at your appointment this morning!!

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  13. Good luck, I can only imagine what you must be going through, you will have my prayers!

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  14. I know what you mean, my body is like that too. I overreact as well so that does not bode well for me in stressful situations. I am just reading this at 12 noon Illinois time so I am praying a little late but if you get a chance to email me, please let me know how it went.
    And as for support? You have mine.
    100 percent.
    Love you blog friend who I know would be besties in real life.
    Oh and separated at birth. ;)

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  15. I will be praying for you! i miscarried at 9 weeks and my heartaches for you right now. its all in God's plan Hugs!!

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  16. God bless you both! I have faith God's will has a hold on this one!

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  17. I know that I don't know you personally but I did start to wonder if you were pregnant with how much you've been away from blogging! :) I really did, true story! I'm praying for you and your family today. ~ Jamie

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  18. My prayers are with you. I wish you peace of mind and also during this scary time - peace of heart. God Bless You and your family!!

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  19. May God carry you in His loving arms and hold you on His lap as you lean deep into him and trust him. He loves you very much. I was very late in reading your post but I am praying anyway.

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  20. This is my first time commenting, and I just wanted to tell you that I will be praying for you and for that little baby bean in your tummy. My Husband and I had a long battle with infertility before we had our daughter, and now we are pregnant (with NO help- just like you! So I share your joy SOOOOO much there!!)and we are due just a couple of days before you. Small world. I think it is especially hard for us former IFers to not worry during pregnancy, especially during these first months, and especially when there is a complication. I will be praying so hard for this little baby of yours to be healthy today and throughout the whole pregnancy. God bless!!

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  21. *hugs* keep positive.. Anything is possible through Christ Jesus if you just believe.. easy said than done i know.. We have a beautiful lil boy of 5 years old, amongst the 12 years of trying to have a family..

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  22. So many prayers are going up for you and that new life God is blessing you with.

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  23. Sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts your way! :-) Congratulations on the little blessing!

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  24. I'm a new reader, and I had to search archives after reading your 6 month update and you hinted that you've had complications in the past. I am a spotter too, and it's the scariest thing in the world! Your story motivates me. I just know someday my husband and I will bring home our baby. Sending you many positive thoughts for the rest of your pregnancy!

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Thank you for your comments!
I love EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. :-)