A runner, I am not.
Never have been.
And by never . . . I mean <NUH-EV-ER> . . . NEVER.
Like, even back in my volleyball days, when I was actually in shape, I dreaded the days we'd have to run more than the usual 5-10 laps around the gym for a warm-up.
On occasion, my coach would get mad enough at the team to make us run a mile - and once, it was even two miles.
Yes, I said once.
And yes, I remember this day.
All too well.
(That is soooo pathetic, but I hated running that much.)
Why did (do) I hate it so much....?
And I can't do it.
That's the short answer.
And here's the long answer . . .
1. I can't breathe.
2. I get a side ache.
3. Everything hurts.
4. I feel like a two-ton elephant.
5. I sweat like a pig.
6. I'm bored out of my mind.
7. I have a million other things I'd rather do (like clean out the bottom of the garbage cans or birth another child without an epidural).
8. My chest feels like it's going to explode.
9. I wonder if I'm having a heart attack every time I try it.
10. I feel pathetic for being so pathetic.
Need I go on . . . ?
Does anything about the above list sound enticing to YOU?
Well, I know there are lots of you crazies out there.
Matter of fact, I'm related to - or friends with - most of them.
I'd say a good 75% of the people I spend the most time with are serious runners.
And by serious, I mean . . . they do it on a daily basis. And they ENJOY it.
(I don't know why I'm drawn to crazy people, but it's a fact of my life.)
Let's just say, I spend a lot of time hearing about running and races and this many miles and that many hours, etc, etc. . .
Not that I mind.
(I really don't.)
But running has always been their thing . . . everyone else's thing.
The thought of joining any one of them on a run is nothing short of a perfect mixture of laughable . . . and terrifying.
(And I can truly say, it has never even crossed my mind to attempt it!)
No, thank you.
So now . . . prepare to be shocked.
About three or four months ago, I (in a moment of insanity) downloaded the Couch-to-5k app on my iPhone.
I blame Jillian Michaels.
(If you follow my blog's facebook page, you know I did Jillian's 30 Day Shred in an attempt to rid myself of the extra pregnancy pounds after Max was born.)
I'm not sure if it was because I was so sick of her voice, I couldn't fathom doing that video for another 30 days. . . or if I was actually feeling more strong and fit than I've felt in some time, and therefore, felt (again, in a weak moment) that I might actually be able to run 5 kilometers.
In a row.
(And Kari didn't help, either. She was training for a 5k at the same time, and kept insisting if she could do it, I could do it. .... I still love you, girl!)
I ran (if you can call it that when you're "running" 90 seconds at a time) - three days a week.
Every week, I thought I would NEVER be able to move on to the next week's schedule.
(Run for five minutes straight? . . . No way! Eight minutes?? . . . Yeah, right! . . . And let's not even talk about Week 6, Day 3: Run for 22 minutes. . . . Ummmm, NOT happening.)
Miraculously, I managed to complete the program.
The program ends with you running for 30 minutes straight.
Which I can do.
But there ain't no way I'm running 3.1 miles in 30 minutes.
I'm lucky -- and I do mean LUCKY -- if I can squeak in under a 12-minute-mile pace.
Yes, I'm basically walking. There are probably little old ladies who power walk the malls every morning who would blow by me "running."
I wish that was an exaggeration.
But the bottom line is . . . I guess . . . I'm running.
It isn't pretty.
[Let me take a moment to give you a visual:
You know that Hawaiian Punch stuff?
Picture that color, only about 15 times more RED. That's my face.
Ever been in a monsoon? Get soaked much?
Yep, that's almost how soaked I am at the end of my run.]
Why am I posting this now?
Well . . . Sunday morning (the only day my hubs is home now), I got up at 5:30 before church, and I ran FIVE. WHOLE. KILOMETERS.
In a row.
It was seriously monumental.
I can honestly say, with 100% certainty, I have NEVER run that far IN MY LIFE.
I almost couldn't believe I'd done it. It took me 36 minutes, so it's not like I deserve any medals here, but it actually happened.
(I use the RunKeeper app now, so it tracks my time/distance with GPS.)
So, now what?
At this point, I'd be perfectly happy to quit and never run another step in my life.
But somehow, I've been finagled into running a 5k "race" (it's a just-for-fun one - not even timed - yahoo!) with my BFFs and my sister at the end of the summer.
This, unfortunately, means I have to keep this up for two more months.
With my hubs working out of town six days a week now, this is going to be an interesting challenge for me (no, I don't have a treadmill). I really am lucky if I "get to" run two days a week! My "team" might be dragging my sorry butt over the finish line . . . good thing I know they love me, and they won't mind. : )~
And now, to all of my "real" runner friends who are learning about this for the first time . . .
Don't ask me to run with you. (I mean this in the nicest possible way.) I really am still a pathetic excuse for a "runner", and I don't have plans of that changing.
And don't ask me to run in any races, either.
Particularly any that have the word marathon anywhere in them.
(That seems to be the thing lately.)
I will not ever be running a marathon, a half-marathon, or even a quarter-marathon, for that matter.
I have zero desire . . . and let's be real . . . I'm just too dang lazy.
But I'll gladly cheer you on! :-)
If you're still here, thanks for hanging on through this ridiculously long-winded post.
I have a hard time telling stories the short way.
And Bec + running = a very long (and slow!) story!
One more thing I will say . . . I think I have proven (to myself, at least) that anything IS possible!
I definitely never thought I'd see the day I wrote a blog post on this topic! : )~
My name is Bec, and I am a (very slow) runner.